Monday, December 13, 2010

Chapter Twenty-five

Lois peered down at me. She eased into a chair next to me. Her eyes were red. She'd been crying. Tears of joy, I imagined. Jodi had survived. The baby was beautiful. She was a grandmother. "I don't know what to say, Michael." 


Chapter Twenty-five

I stumbled off to the waiting room where Lois and I had suffered through a part of this ordeal. We hadn't suffered as much as Jodi, though.
Sunlight streamed through the Venetian blinds over the windows and landed on the floor in parallel bars. I glanced at my watch. Nine o'clock. No one else was here. Thank God. I didn't want to talk to anybody. Answer questions. How much does your son weigh? What did you name him? Is his mom doing okay? How are you doing, Dad? You don't look so good. Are you okay?
I threw myself down into a chair and slumped forward, my elbows propped on my knees, my face buried in my palms.
I was numb. I couldn't think. I couldn't believe it.
Life had grabbed me by the throat again and slammed me against a wall.
Jodi and I'd had unprotected sex. Twice. She and Luke had used a condom. Always. But Luke was apparently the father of her baby.
Somebody please explain that to me!
Jodi had lied to me about the condoms?
I don't think so.
But why did I care? I mean, really, for months hadn't I tried to duck responsibility for Jodi's pregnancy? When did I cross over? Probably when Jodi and I started dating. She was so much fun to be with. And then Mom started telling me babies are so precious, so fragile...babies need parents who get along. And now watching Jodi suffer through labor to bring a new life into the world—how could you not love a girl like that?
I stared at my shoes and started tapping my toe on the linoleum floor. The toe and foot I use to kick a football. My future, the one I'd planned so that Mom and Dad would be proud of me, was staring me straight in the face now, bright and clear, just the way I'd dreamed it: College and football.
I'd never really had a clear picture in my mind what Jodi and I would do if the baby were mine. Just a lot of stupid fantasies: Jodi and I going to school together at the University of Iowa. How could we afford that? Jodi and the baby watching me play football at Kinnick Stadium. Then in a bowl game. How stupid is that!
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Was Dad at my side, ready to help me out? Or maybe chew me out?
I looked up. Lois peered down at me. She eased into a chair next to me. Her eyes were red. She'd been crying. Tears of joy, I imagined. Jodi had survived. The baby was beautiful. She was a grandmother. "I don't know what to say, Michael." 
I sat back. "You don't have to say anything."
"I'm so confused..."
"We don't know anything for sure."
"Jodi told me just a day ago about Luke and her when he was home on leave and the possibility... Honestly, I had no idea until then."
"She told me at Christmas time, but I figured the odds weren't big enough to worry about it. They used condoms."
"She told me...I think, well, just in case..." Lois clasped her hands together in her lap. "She says you both talked about DNA testing."
"We mentioned it."
"They do that sort of thing right here on this floor. I'll make arrangements. You should probably be tested before you leave."
I leaned back in my chair. Rotated my head right, left and tried to twist the kinks out of my neck. "All right, I will." Then, "You going to contact Luke?"
"As soon as I can get an address from his folks. I'm sure they'll want to know."
"Think he'll step up?"
"I don't think so."
Lois explained that Luke's mom, a waitress, raised the boy by herself—a single mother—for fourteen years, then his dad showed up. Mom and dad fell in love again, married this time, and produced four more kids.
"Wow."
"Luke wasn't happy. He suddenly felt ignored. He felt jealous of the other kids. Who now got all of the attention. When he found out his mom was pregnant with her sixth child, he joined the Navy. He didn't want to stay at home any longer."
"I can hardly blame him."
"But he didn't tell Jodi until the last second that he was leaving after graduation."
"That was a rotten thing to do, but this might be his own kid."
"He joined the Navy to escape. He doesn't like babies. He probably won't like this one."
"He might," I said, "if he has a chance."
"Jodi will let him know and give him a chance to be involved." Lois touched my arm. "She wants to see you."
"How she's feeling."
"All right...for what she's been through."
"I can't imagine how mixed up she must be."
"I don't know whatever possessed her to...get involved with that boy again—I never liked him. I was so happy when he left."
"We fought before I left Ghost Bay. I think she was feeling—" A word popped into my head. I'm not sure I'd ever used it before. "I think she was feeling vulnerable. She was feeling hurt and vulnerable."
"Still..."
"It was my fault."
Lois dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "Michael...about leaving your car here for me...you don't have to do that."
"Look, we'll stick to the plan—no reason not to. You keep my car for transportation. So you can get back and forth from whatever motel you stay in while Jodi's here. I'll take a bus home. I've already called. One leaves at eleven for Grandview. Keep the car."
"That's very generous of you."
"I need to get home, get some real sleep. I've got conditioning drills starting tomorrow for a football game."
"A football game in spring?"
"It's an all-star game."
Lois nodded. "One other thing, Michael. I'm sorry if I seemed harsh..."
"It's all right. None of us knew what was really going on. We only thought we did." I stood up. "Was Jodi awake when you left her?"
Lois nodded. "She really does want to talk to you."

Coming Wednesday—Chapter Twenty-six: Jodi tells Michael he's off the hook.