"My life seems such a mess right now," Jodi said.
Was she blaming me? It didn't seem so. She seemed to be speaking matter-of-factly, like I had no part in making the mess she was in and didn't need my help cleaning it up. She extended her right hand. "Let's be friends. Let's shake."
"All right," I said. "Friends."
We clasped hands and pumped twice
Chapter Thirteen
When I arrived at Jodi's grandparents' house at seven sharp, the night was cold with a hazy moon, a million stars lighting the sky. Jodi's grandparents' minivan was gone.
Interesting.
Had Jodi really promised to go shopping with her grandmother this afternoon? Or had she wanted me to come over tonight so we could be alone? Did she have plans for us? Intimate plans? It was she who'd suggested the deer hunter's cabin last August. But to be totally honest, that afternoon, at that moment, sitting with her on a sandy beach, looking into her eyes, I wanted to hook up with her so bad I think I would have dragged her off into the woods whether she suggested the deer-hunter's cabin or not.
A porch light lit the drive and steps for me.
Shivering, I rang the bell once before Jodi opened the door. "Hey," I said.
"Hey. Feels like it's getting colder." She hurried me in, taking my coat.
The house was small but felt warm and cozy and smelled of buttered popcorn.
"My grandparents play bingo every Saturday night. We can work in the kitchen. The light's good."
"Sounds great."
"My grandfather's disappointed he missed you, such a big football hero."
"I'm available for autographs," I said, and smiled.
But as Jodi cleared newspapers off the kitchen table, my attempt at humor earned only a blank look from her. "Is it all right if we work here?" she asked. "The only other place is my bedroom. I have a desk."
That's how Christie and I ended up in her bed the first time, doing homework at her desk in her bedroom. "The kitchen's fine."
Pulling out a chair, I sat across from Jodi at the table because I didn't want to be close to her. But I could neither read her algebra book upside down nor write upside down. Eventually, I sat next to her and helped her wade through a chapter of algebraic fractions. While we munched popcorn and drank root beer—her favorite—we filled pages and pages of yellow legal paper with our calculations.
Through it all, her nearness shook me—her lilac scent, the touch of our hands over the algebra book, the bump of our knees under the table.
"You're really good at this," Jodi said, after we'd been working nearly two hours and had finished.
"Thanks. Math is one of my favorite subjects."
"I have to take a lot of science to be a biologist. That I don't mind, but I hate math."
She had told me at Ghost Bay she wanted to be an environmental biologist. I was glad to hear her goal hadn't changed, though she'd told me recently on the phone before she came to Grandview that the most important thing was the life growing inside her. Well, my goals hadn't changed either, but I wondered how Jodi intended to reach hers. I mean, with a baby and all. My goal was still plainly in sight.
The thought made me feel a little smug.
Then I felt guilty for thinking like that.
"I'm glad I could help," I said.
Jodi leaned back in her chair, yawned, and stretched her arms over her head. She squeezed her eyes shut. Under her white cotton T-shirt, the full circle of her breasts strained against the fabric, her nipples poking out.
I'd kissed those breasts and nipples.
Was she purposely trying to turn me on?
Could she hear my heart fluttering in my chest? A trapped bird. I ripped my eyes away from her.
"You want something?" she asked. "Another root beer maybe? Or Pepsi?" She dropped her arms on the table and yawned again. "I'm getting pretty tired. I think I understand all this, though."
The furnace kicked in, humming, and I felt the rush of warm air from the floor register behind me.
"Are you hot?" Jodi asked.
"Umm..." My throat seemed clogged.
"It's always too hot in here. My grandparents keep the temp at seventy-five. I can hardly stand it. You want something?" she repeated.
"I'll take that Pepsi."
Jodi bounced up, grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge, and popped it open. She handed the can to me. "You want a glass?"
"I don't need one."
"More popcorn?"
"No thank you."
"Something else?"
"No."
Gathering her papers, she glanced at the clock over the sink. I looked, too. Nearly nine-thirty. She probably wanted me out of here before her grandparents came home, and I didn't necessarily want to meet them tonight. If ever.
"I have to go," I said. I gulped down half the Pepsi. "I enjoyed helping you."
"Thanks. You did a good job. You really are an algebra genius." She hesitated. "Look...I know I've yelled at you a lot lately..."
"Not your fault."
"I've been uptight about everything. School. Leaving my folks. Living with my grandparents. The baby. Everything's a struggle, I can't help it."
I nodded.
"My life seems such a mess right now," Jodi said.
Was she blaming me? It didn't seem so. She seemed to be speaking matter-of-factly, like I had no part in making the mess she was in and didn't need my help cleaning it up. She extended her right hand. "Let's be friends. Let's shake."
"All right," I said. "Friends."
We clasped hands and pumped twice. Her hand felt warm and tender in mine, her fingers tapered, her grip firm. Just as I remembered. It was hard to believe such an upfront person like Jodi Jackson could be lying about whether or not she was really carrying my baby.
Suddenly I knew, if I let it, everything I'd felt for her during the summer could start rushing through me again. Unchecked. True, football was over, but I needed to concentrate even harder now on my studies. I had college visitations to make. Coaches to meet and talk with. A decision to make: Which college should I attend? At which one could I earn a good education and still play football? I needed a clear mind. An uncluttered life.
Asking me to take her to the doctor and for help with her algebra, suggesting we be friends—was Jodi cleverly setting a trap? I hated being suspicious. But I had to be careful. I didn't want to be a fly lured into a spider's web.
I finished off my Pepsi. "Good night."
"Good night, Michael."
I hustled out of there in no time, Jodi closing the door behind me.
As I drove home that freezing night, the headlights of oncoming cars flashing in my face, I replayed in my mind the scene of my folks and me saying good-bye to Travis, Lois, and Jodi at Ghost Bay. It was the morning after Jodi and I'd had our fight in an empty cabin and she'd accused me of simply wanting to nail her. It was the morning Luke showed up.
Car packed and waiting in front of our cabin, Mom, Dad, and I were ready to leave Ghost Bay at nine in the morning, the sun bright, the sky blue.
Travis and Lois hurried over to our cabin to say good-bye. All of us exclaimed what a great time we'd had this summer. A minute or two later, Jodi trailed along behind her mom and dad. She and I didn't speak. Barely nodding hello, we looked away each time our eyes met.
I peered at the sky, trees, ground. I'd never felt so awkward.
Dad and Travis shook hands and embraced, Dad knowing this would be the last time he saw Travis. Mom and Lois gave each other a big hug. I was trying to find the courage to a least shake Jodi's hand for the last time when I spotted a tall redheaded guy my age dressed in jeans and white T-shirt loping down the path toward us. When Jodi turned and saw him, she gave a start, then froze a second. Next, she glanced at me as the guy slowed and came ambling toward us with a sheepish smile, saying, "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson. Hi, Jodi."
All three said, "Hi, Luke."
The sun filtered though the trees and fell over his square-jawed face like a spotlight, his curly red hair flashing. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything..."
"Just saying good-bye to friends," Travis said, and introduced us.
Mom, Dad, and I said, "Hello."
Luke looked at Jodi. "I need to talk to you a minute, girlfriend"—it sounded like a command—"but I don't have much time this morning."
Jodi started to stammer. "I—I..." Stammer, stammer.
I'd never heard her at a loss for words.
"It's all right," Lois said. "The Panthers are on their way."
Hesitating, Jodi looked from her mom to her dad.
"It's all right," Travis said.
"Good-bye, everyone." Jodi offered a little smile and a tiny wave. Our gaze locked for a second, but her eyes were expressionless, as if we were strangers.
"'Bye," I mumbled.
As Mom and Dad exchanged more hugs with Travis and Lois, I slid into the Lincoln behind the wheel and slipped the key into the ignition. I twisted the key and the engine purred. Luke and Jodi strolled along the path toward the lake. His hand quickly found hers. Fifty yards away, partially hidden by pine trees, they stopped and faced each other. Gripping her shoulders, he bent down to kiss her. She didn't back away or struggle. A twinge of jealousy rippled through me.
I reached over and opened the passenger's side door for Dad so he could ease himself into the seat.
I heaved a big sigh. Well, good. At least I hadn't broken Jodi's heart. She had someone else besides me all along. By nightfall she'd forget me. Good. I didn't feel so bad. Didn't feel like I was a player. Didn't feel as if I'd hurt her all that much. If I had, Luke would make the hurt all better. Like a Band-Aid.
When I got home after helping Jodi with her algebra, I parked my car in the drive, climbed out, slammed the door closed. Mom's car was gone; she was out somewhere.
I looked up at the bright, hazy moon.
I breathed out a frosty breath and shook my head.
I realized that just because Jodi let that guy kiss her that morning didn't mean they did anything else. Like maybe Jodi broke away from the kiss and slapped the guy.
That could have happened, but I didn't see it.
I lumbered into the house wondering when I'd solve this puzzle, a puzzle that might determine the direction I was headed: A college football player, my life full of fun and excitement. Or a teen dad, my life full of responsibilities and obligations. If I were a dad and if I were lucky enough to go to college, a part-time job–or maybe a full-time job—a bagger at a grocery store—would replace football in my life.
And then I wondered why Jodi had hooked up with Luke in the first place. Who was he? What made him so damn special? Was I still feeling a bit jealous? No way!
I plodded into the empty house and up the stairs to my room, undressed, took a shower, and fell into bed, all my unanswered questions buzzing in my brain like bees.
Coming Wednesday—Chapter Fourteen: Michael caves in and asks Jodi for a date.
